10.08.2009

How's married life?

Everyone: "So, how's married life?" 

Me/Patrick: How on earth do I articulate the answer to this question?! "It's good." 

"How is married life?" is a tough question to answer. You walk the line. You either really get into it like the person who gets into the particulars when you ask, "how are you?"expecting only a "fine." Or you feel lame when you smile and say, "It's good." 

Since we lived together before the wedding, not much has changed day-to-day. In this way, married life is a lot like unmarried life. But some things do change, or at least feel different. Fun things ... dates, talking about the future, painting walls and hanging photos. And not-so-fun-but-very-important things ... joint bank accounts, name changes, expectations. So, it's much less complicated to answer, "married life is fine." Or even make a joke, "So far, so good!" 

I wanted to share, though, some really great advice recently from a friend who is maybe more thoughtful and precise than anyone I've known. She said, "I just think about what that person is interested in and answer it from that angle." So, one person who is into budgets and investing says, "How's married life?" She talks about how they're figuring out where to spend and save. Another person who is interested in decorating asks. She answers that they're still putting things away and getting organized. 

I'm trying to put these suggestions into practice, but I think sometimes it's more important to ask this question of yourself/your spouse, "How is our married life? How are we making married life great today?"

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