I feel compelled to write this post. Not because I’m a Debbie Downer, but because I think it’s something that recent brides (and probably grooms, too) are kind of ashamed to admit and to talk about. And I think, in the same way it seems weird to have a baby and then be plagued by depression, it feels selfish and out-of-body to be sad that your wedding is over. Don't get me wrong. This is not one of those wompy commercials telling you it's OK to pine for your wedding. Let me start at the beginning:
Flash back to May 9, and you could have fooled me. There I was, beach-skinned and relaxed, completely in love, rested, relieved, overjoyed to be married! I was flying! So I totally get where this entry on Post-Wedding Freedom was coming from. The happiest I have ever been.
Fast forward to mid-June: I have just been run over by a semi. I feel deflated and guilty for even considering the fact that … I might be depressed? Is post-wedding depression real?
Folks, we had a legitimate, well-balanced wedding. We did the detail thing, but it was no great overdone masterpiece. We were counseled by 3 priests and a Lutheran pastor. We attended a (WONDERFUL!) weekend-long retreat about marriage. We talked about our future, we started a savings. We came in under budget (gasp!).
Like I said. You could have fooled me.
We came back and life smacked us in the face, as it should, really. Life goes on. That's the POINT of a wedding. But I slunk into this awful, pity-filled, strange reality. I was a little resentful that my wedding was over. I was flabbergasted by things like my new name. How dare they change my name! I trolled wedding blogs thinking hateful thoughts about all of the lucky women planning their weddings and overanalyzing my flowers, my details...things I honestly decided on and LOVED on the day of my wedding. I went home and hated everything. Which was bizarre because I wanted to love it.
Good news is that I am out of that funky sludge now. I was right in the first place, and I love my life. I love my husband. Things aren't perfect. But people aren't either. And post-wedding slumps are OK. As long as you are self-aware enough to pick up and carry on. And especially as long as you have a partner who will patiently carry you when you can't.